Laugh and hold hands

We haven't laughed so hard together in such a long time. Sad but true. This thing we all call life can somehow get in the way. Work, housework, nappies, money, teething, lack of sleep. Really the list could go on and on. Before we know it we have lost touch in some ways with the person that makes us laugh and smile the most.

Date night was last night and it was long overdue. Dinner and "22 Jump Street" was planned but instead it was dinner and coffee, the line up to purchase our tickets would have made us miss the first 20 mins at least. It was simple but one of the best nights we have had together in a long time. We laughed so hard that my nose and eyes were watering. Now picture that at the same time, while almost wetting my pants (other Mum's will understand) Gross hey!

It was a strange feeling being baby less...
I could eat my dinner without interruption
I wasn't carrying a million wipes, nappies, spare clothes and a heavy nappy bag
I didn't have to lug a 8.8kg toddler in and out of the car
Nor was I Pushing a pram with a babe that always wants to stand when the safety warning clearly states "No Standing"

But it hit me the most when Will said "It feels weird holding hands hey?". But the truth is, it did. It's not something we avoid it's just something that I guess can get lost in amongst the early years of having a child. Always running after a toddler. Alone time together is limited.

Our date wasn't an intimate romantic night with candles lit, bottle of red wine with soft dinner music playing. In fact it was quite the opposite in a restaurant that sets of a really weird vibe and atmosphere. The food however never disappoints and for this reason we always return and they have named us their "regulars". It didn't matter the content of the night, it was simply the time we were able to spend together alone. I came home from our night on a high, we needed that simple but crucial time together just to laugh and hold hands. It's true that laughing is medicine, not that we were sick in the first place but it's good for the body, soul and spirit.

Mummies I know our lives can be non stop exhausting and it's so hard to find the time to spend alone with our husbands/partners at times but please find the time. You need it and so does your other half. It reconnects you together. It doesn't have to be expensive. In fact last christmas Will's present was 12 envelopes named January through to December. Each month Will opens the corresponding envelope to find a pre planned date. I must admit the last three months we haven't actually gone on the dates, so we have some catching up to do but they are organised and we just have to arrange a babysitter and go. Most of them are very inexpensive so don't think you have to spend a fortune every month just to go on a date because we know first hand how hard it can be sometimes, especially with only one income. I'm not a relationship guru by any means but the value in time alone is crucial. If you can't find a babysitter ask me, I'm actually serious, just ask!!!!!!

God gently reminded me today that it's so easy to become lost in life sometimes that I can forget to laugh and hold hands with the Him, the One who loves me the most. The One that just wants me to take hold of his outstretched hand for no other reason than to be alone with him and laugh. I just love how He always gives me little nudges and reminders of what He yearns from me. It can change the course of your day. Laugh and hold hands.

Double edged sword

Over the past week God's shown me that the big obvious, little quirky and sometimes almost annoying character traits I have, He has actually given me for a very particular, articulated reason. Ok some of you may already have had this revelation but clearly I'm a little slow jumping on the band wagon. Let me explain.

Up until a couple of years ago there were many character traits in my personality that would get me into trouble, especially in my teenage and early post teenage years. One big one was the fact that I spoke exactly what I thought when I wanted. There was no such thing as "think before you speak". No filter on my tongue or my heart for that matter. A lot of the time I would speak out of hurt, anger and judgement. I was very outspoken but at the same time extremely passionate about certain issues. Everyone knew me for this. It was part of my "personality". It did annoy me though, I knew I came across very rude sometimes.

The past couple of years God's been changing the attitude of my heart. Let me tell you first hand how the attitude of the heart changes everything! I noticed that how and what I spoke had changed, I wasn't speaking out of judgement, hurt or anger. God was dealing with that and I didn't need to hold onto it. I still spoke with authority and passion about what God had placed there and what I was passionate about, but it was different. I learnt that some things are just not worth verbalising because after pondering on it for a while my view point or attitude would change and understanding is what I gained.

See God has given me a personality for a reason. Because God is a personal God and he made me a personal being. He made me outspoken and extremely passionate but it's how I use these traits that's more important. Same as when God gives us gifts and talents, it's how we use them and do they bring him glory?

I had let hurt, anger and judgment take over the personalty that God had given me. The last couple of years God's been filtering out these things to bring glory to Him again. I'm still not there, its a journey that will continue to the day I die but I've realised it's an attitude of the heart. My attitude changes everything even down to how and what I speak.

Last weekend at young adults retreat Elisha (a good friend) had a word for me. I was a double edged sword. The truth and rawness I speak would be used for The Kingdom.

I've been seeking God about this over the past week and God clearly said that I'm everything He created me to be. Even the thing that has gotten me into trouble and been a hinder to me in the past. The two edge sword can destroy the enemy or me but He will use it for His kingdom, as long as my attitude is in check (a constant check needs to be made with a good kick up the but if necessary) This sword is extremely powerful in the spiritual realm and what I speak needs to be God's word and His truth and rawness.

Colossians 3

Psalm 149:6
"May the praise of God be in their mouths and a double edged sword in their hands"

Hebrews 4:12
"For the word of God is living and active. Sharper than any double edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart

A fire within me has been lit

With temperatures of 40 degrees, crying helplessly, sleepless nights, nursing around the clock, and an array of medicines being placed in her little body from both ends of the spectrum, it's safe to say that the latter half of the past week has been a little traumatic for both Mamma and bubba.

"Jesus loves the little children, 

all the children of the world. 

Red and yellow, black and white,

they are precious in His sight. 

Jesus loves the little children" 

I found myself singing this classic that I grew up singing, in an attempt to soothe my sick baby girl. She finally falls asleep, saddled across my body, head resting on my chest. I don't dare put her down. That's not an option. For the past 48 hours she has only wanted to rest her weak body on me. I can feel her burning, the heat from little face has made my chest red.

Now that she is sleeping I can get some rest. I close my eyes. But my mind wonders. The words from the classic children's song play over and over in my head and I find myself questioning God. "How can Jesus love all the little children of the world?" Children all over the world are dying from sicknesses that can be managed with access to medication, food, water and doctors. There are Mothers all over the world that weep helplessly because they can't even produce enough milk that would soothe their babies. They don't have enough money to feed themselves so their bodies deny them from producing natures finest life support. If they can't eat they defiantly don't have the means and resources to get seen by a doctor or a hospital visit. Even if somehow they were able to go to the hospital, doctors and nurses would deny them treatment as they can't afford the hospital bed or medications needed.

My heart breaks. My heart becomes heavy. Anger is also mixed with sadness. "How can doctors and nurses overlook dying children?!" To us it seems so foreign, so inhuman. But this is how the majority of the world live. Does it make it easier for them knowing that this is the life they have been handed. Of course not! I can't even imagine the heart ache a Mother would go through watching her sick baby screaming inconsolably.

Within four days Gracie has returned to 100% health, cheeky as ever, always on the move exploring and laughing. We had everything at our finger tips. Doctors, medication and even support and love from family to help when I was exhausted. But my heart is still heavy for these Mummies and their babies.

My heart breaks. My heart becomes heavy. Anger is also mixed with sadness. A fire within me has been lit.

1 Samuel 2:8

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honour...

Stop and Love

At the beginning of 2013 when everyone was making "New Year Resolutions" I was determined not to make one. Who sticks to them anyway? They make us feel good for the first month and then come February we have already slipped back into old habits, ways and lack the motivation that the first of January brought.  By the end of the year we feel worse about ourselves because we weren't disciplined, motivated or determined enough to accomplish what we set out to achieve at the beginning of the year. 

With this mindset, I started my year off "New Years Resolution" free. 

God whispered one word "Love"

Over the next few days God showed me that 2013 was my year to love. It wasn't to be my "New Years Resolution" instead "Love" was to be what I strived to become, be, pour out, lavish upon, breath, soak in. 2013 was to be what I was created for. Love.

I look back on this past year and ask myself the question "Did I love?". 

Yes. In situations where I would have normally became angry I found myself responding to with grace, acceptance and forgiveness  Not because I felt I had to but because love changes the heart. Love stretched me in 2013 and I found myself involved in things that I would have never dreamt of doing or achieving. Saying yes to love opens doors. My greatest love of 2013 hands down would have been the birth of our beautiful baby girl "Gracie Mayah". Holding her in my arms staring into her big brown eyes that trust and love me utterly and completing remind me on a daily basis what Jesus yearns from me also. She is teaching me how to love unconditionally and gives me more of a glimpse of how The Father loves. She is continually teaching me to go to Jesus for my source of strength and to be filled with more of Him.  

Such a little being has taught and shown me what love looks like. Love looks like getting down on the ground and playing instead of sitting on Facebook. Love looks like reading books instead of watching rubbish on tv. Love looks like making the time to spend with Will, my husband alone so our marriage stays fresh. Love looks like giving more of myself and my resources. 

But as I look back on 2013 another question remains "Did I love enough?" 

No. There are more times than I can count that I fell short. The most recent one was on Christmas Day, of all days of the year. I went for a run early in the morning before everyone was awake. Along my run I seen a homeless man packing the little belongings he had into a bag from the night before. My heart become heavy and I kept running saying to myself "I'll stop on the way back". On the way back I seen him again. I wanted to stop but the "He's a male, your a female, anything could happen because no ones around" excuses flooded in and before I knew it, I had ran past him and was back in the hotel. Ever since Christmas Day this keeps playing over and over in my head. I didn't love with the capacity that I was created for. I didn't stop. I let excuses win. I left Jesus lying on the grass beside the beach hungry and thirsty on Christmas Day! 

I don't want to come to the end this year and have a situation playing over and over in my head because I didn't stop and love. I want this year to be the year I just stop. I want even more opportunities to love like Jesus but I know this can't happen unless I stop. Jesus always stopped. I need to stop for the homeless man. This isn't a "New Years Resolution" it's what God created and requires of me. Stop and Love.  

 

She holds beauty

I have to document this moment down. I never want to forget...

Christmas is just 5 days away and I just received the best Christmas present that my heart could desire.

My baby girl and I were slow dancing to Christmas music in our lounge room. She had the biggest smile on her face that I have ever seen, she giggled away as we twirled and spun around and every now and then her little head would fall and rest on my shoulder as we continued to dance. My day, week, month and year were all wrapped up and handed to me at once, while dancing with my baby girl. It was spontaneous and one of those moments that made me tear up. I literally felt my heart get bigger but at the same time melt from the beauty that she holds. This special moment I will treasure forever. She is my beauty.

Merry Christmas

Love Will, Emma and Gracie
xoxo

Questions and Answers

It's been over a year since we have been back from Uganda and although I haven't been posting my thoughts and what God's been doing in my heart and in my life doesn't mean I haven't been writing. So here it is, finally! As promised a Questions and answer blog...It took so long as I found it really hard to put into words the answers to questions asked. Sometimes words aren't enough. Enjoy!



What is the most valuable lesson you learnt in Uganda? 
I learnt that God doesn't want product. It's not all about what I was "achieving" or "doing" but all He wants from me is my heart. From that flows all the things that people expect your doing on the field. I couldn't love on people if I wasn't receiving God's love on a daily basis. Everything we were involved with in Uganda was about loving and in the beginning I got this all wrong. I had to stop and give my heart to God on a daily basis. By doing this I felt God's heart and when you feel God's heart it changes everything. I fell more in love with Him than ever before. That's all God wanted and required from me from the beginning, to love Him more and more everyday. By falling more in love with Jesus I slowly knew more of His love and from this came the love needed to do what God sent me to Uganda to do. 

Your most treasured moment/incident? 

A little girl learnt how to say "I love you" and she would say it to me all the time. She literally melted my heart every time she said "Emma I love you"

"Emma I love you!"

Another moment that melted both Will and I's hearts was when two young workers from Jordan House took us out for a farewell meal. We had no idea as it was a surprise and we were so humbled as the meals would have cost almost half a months wage for them both. They completely blessed us, more than they will ever know. It brought tears to my eyes with their massive hearts and spirits. 

 Our surprise farewell meal with Douglas and William 

Most depressing/sad moment?

A young girl came to Jordan House needing help. She had been raped and just found out she was pregnant. She was unsure about her HIV status so we went to get her tested. The test came back positive. I remember sitting with this young girl and crying and crying and crying. I went home and cried all night on my bed, I didn't know what else to do as rape and HIV was all too common. God had broken my heart into pieces.

Something you will miss most?

I miss living simply. 
No electricity half the time. No hot water. No TV. 
Simplicity brought with it intimacy. Intimacy with God. Intimacy with Will. 
No distractions. 
I really really really miss this!

Something you really won't miss?
A Ugandan staple meal called "Posho" (millet flour ground up, mixed with water and cooked) Let's just say it tasted like glue. 

The traffic. Picture a capital city full of cars, boda boda's/motorbikes (I may or may not have drove straight over the top of one while it was moving) buses, pedestrians using the road as a footpath and walking straight in front of on coming traffic (I may have also hit a pedestrian) 

Are there any changes in action or thought that will impact or change the way you live your life once you return to Australia? 
I'm a lot more gracious towards others and not so judgemental towards people in church. This was something that I had a big problem with before I left and God sorted that out while in Uganda.  

How are you a different person from when you left and how are you the same?

In some ways it's hard to answer "how am I different?" as it's little things that happen that I look back and see I dealt with it different than before I left for Uganda. But at the same time I know I'm different. The way I carry myself is even different I don't feel like I put up a guard, like I did before. I guess this is because while in Uganda God broke them down and showed me who He created me to be. He created me without limit, borders, masks, barriers. After this revelation it changed how I go about life on a daily basis. I feel free. 

I'm the same Emma but more of who God breathed life into and less of the rubbish that I filled it with. Emptying this gunk out is an ongoing process till the day I die but Uganda was defiantly God's tool for filtering out so much that was holding me back. Living within the invisible borders of what I thought was my life, staying there getting stale and dried out like a piece of bread left out that was once fresh. 

How has being over there impacted you life at such a young age?

I don't know the full extend as to how it has impacted me but experiencing Uganda has defiantly reinforced the feeling that I have always felt. Feeling a little left out. In a good way. It's reinforced that I'm called else where to give more and  love more. It's also changed the way we bring up Gracie. 

What was it that most touched you heart while over there?

Our last Sunday at Jordan House church a young girl was attending, I had never seen her before. She was about 13 years old. In the middle of worship, God prompted me to turn around, when I did I seen this girl, worshipping God with all she had. Tears streaming down her face, completely undone by the presence of her Father. I felt the Holy Spirit say "Go hold her hand" I did without thinking twice. Her eyes remained shut focused on her creator but she weeped even more. We both stood there tears streaming down our faces, I felt God literally upon us. I felt the tears that we were releasing were no other than God's. 

I don't know this young girls story nor do I know her name but God knew. He meet her where she was in the slum of Uganda. In the midst of poverty, disease, brokenness, hopelessness, God was bringing exactly what this young girl needed. His presence to fill her and bring hope, restoration, peace, healing and love.

I came away from our last day at Jordan House completely overwhelmed by how BIG our God is, so overwhelmed that I couldn't even fathom it. I was challenged to always see God as I did this very day. It was so easy and still can be to get caught up in what's wrong with the world not to see God moving in ways that are tailored to the individual. A God that knows us so well that He pours Himself out on us exactly how we need Him to but so very different to our neighbour, sister or friend. 

This is my most treasured moment in Uganda. So simple but this encounter with God changed and challenged me for the rest of my life. 

The beautiful girl with her Mum and Brother. 

Can you share times where you know God came through for you in time of need and provision?
There was one in particular moment that God showed up BIG time. I can't go into detail for many reasons but we had nothing else in a situation but God and we witnessed first hand how faithful our God is. It blew us away and was the pivotal moment of our time in Uganda. 

Share about the lonely times and how you coped?

Loneliness can seriously send you insane, sometimes I honestly felt I was almost there...insane. Especially in the first 3 months. It was during these three months that I felt the most alone, I hadn't made friends yet with people outside of Jordan House, Operation Uganda and our housemate. If anyone knows me well, I need my friends around me, I think any girl does!!! 

Despite these feelings of lonliness and homesickness I had Will and I learnt to lean on him more than normal and our relationship become stronger over the year. Will knew when homesickness was about to get the better of me (and it's not pretty) and he would do things with me to take my mind of it, cheer me up, help put things back in perspective and get me focused again why we were there. 

Although my feelings of loliness were real and it felt like a rollercoaster, some days were great and then the next I could be crying all day, I knew for certain one thing that was constant. Jesus. I would be reminded about how lonely He would have felt before being crucified on the cross. He turned to His father for comfort and this is where I also found peace and reassurance. 

It took us a few months but we found a church that we loved and made good friends with people there.  The church was such a blessing to us spiritually, mentally and emotionally. I was able to confined in the leadership of the church about how I was struggling and they prayed and offered support, sometimes they just listened, which is just what I needed. 

It was in these lonely times that I felt God closer than ever before despite how I was feeling. He would always whisper little gems to me that lifted my spirit. 

A moment you will never forget?

There were many moments and most of them were so simple but they impacted the most:

When we arrived at Jordan House every morning the kids yelling out "Emma" "William" and running after our car.

Paying the Woman Empowerment ladies their monthly wage. Knowing that they hard worked hard producing stock and now they had money to provide for their family. Their eyes would light up and I could see that they were proud of themselves. 

When ladies in the Woman Empowerment program came up with new concepts and designs. We couldn't always buy the products off of them but I was so proud when I would hear they didn't give up, they went somewhere else and someone else bought their new product. 

Seeing the Woman Empowerment ladies improve.

The list could go on and on but it's these little moments that will always be cherished. 




Love Emma 
xoxo

Perfect in every way

Dear Gracie,

Today you are one week old, both Daddy and I can't believe how quick this past week has gone. It feels like you were just born yesterday. You have changed our world's and we love you more than words could ever describe. I look at you and cry happy tears sometimes because you are so perfect in every way and I'm blown away that we created you and that I'm your MUMMY! 

You look like your Daddy in almost every way, everyone says you are a "little William". You do have my lips though (in your ultra sound I could see how beautiful your lips were and I said that you would have perfect lips, and  you do). You have lots of dark hair (when I seen you for the first time I couldn't believe how much hair you had, I got so excited and all of a sudden I had more energy to continue bringing you into this big world). Your tiny fingers are so perfect with beautiful long nail beds that are perfectly manicured and you have long narrow feet. Some say having long feet means your going to be tall but we will see. being taller than me though won't be hard!!! Your little ears are so petite and perfect and match perfectly with your nose, your nose is just like Daddy's. Did I mention you are perfect in every way!!! Daddy and I could sit and stare at you all day, especially when you are peacefully sleeping. Gammy says your so distracting because we all get distracted with how perfect you are. 

I pray that you will ALWAYS know how much we love you and ask God that He will guide us with wisdom to be the best parents we can be. We pray that you will always know who your Papa Jesus is and always let Him hold your hand through your journey. May you fall in love with Him more and more and always know where your rightful place is, as a daughter of the most high. 

I want to cherish every moment with as this past week has already flown by and it makes me upset not to embrace every facial expression. Daddy says you have many facial expressions like me. 

I want you to know that we have the most amazing family and friends around that will always love, guide, cherish, nurture and protect you as you get older. You will be blessed by them all and you will bless them with you presence. 

It is so beautiful to see Daddy and you together. He loves you so much and I can see you being "Daddy's girl". Daddy is so amazed by you and he just stares at you all day. He has never held something to small and fragile. Seeing Daddy and you together bonding melts my heart. 

We are both blown away by your beauty and again words can't describe this new love. You will always be my baby girl and pretty lady.

Love forever

your Mummy

xoxo

Love more

At the beginning of this year when everyone makes there New Years resolution I was determined not to make one. At the the end of the day most people never stick to them and some people aren't even successful past the first 24 hours.

God gently whispered to me "Love more". At first I thought "What a cliche'"...I mean when people ask you what your new years resolution is everyone wants to be a better person and loving more is just part of that. To better yourself more than the year just past.

It's more than my initial thought process though, it's not about going further and being the better me, in fact it's not about me at all. Loving more is all about others, seeing others going further, letting them be first, stoping, listening, forgiving. It's actually really simple and at the end of the day that's all God requires from me, the gospel is all about loving. It's who He is. God IS love, not God has love. It's a conscience decsion on a daily basis and choose to make 2013 the year I choose to love more.

Fall afresh on me

I haven't written a blog in a very long time and to be honest I'm not sorry at all.

I'm having trouble processing everything that has happened in the last couple of months, but in a good way. God has shown me so much of Himself that it's almost impossible to put into words.

Seriously, how do I write anything that even comes close to how amazing He truly is.

I'm working on it though, I promise.


In the mean time here is a picture of how God literally poured afresh on me.

While away at "Transformation of the Heart Retreat," we had some free time and God gently said "Go sit in the garden". For many of you it would have been easy to go sit in the garden, but for me to just sit and do NOTHING, wow I really struggle. I have always been a person that has to be doing SOMETHING, I have never been able to truly relax.

The days prior to this, God really showed me that the devil has been robbing me of that time that I need to relax all my life. He's been stealing away the time I need to rest for myself and the time that God so dearly wants me to just relax and rest in Him.

I wasn't going to let the devil win this time, so I went and sat in the garden. I wasn't there long before I felt relaxed and at rest, not in my own strength, but I truly felt God's presence all around me. This was a big milestone for me, I can count on one hand the amount of times I have truly relaxed in my whole life (and it doesn't even take up all 5 fingers)

I was listening to worship music for about half hour and just soaking in His love. A song came on that I had never listened to before "Fall a Fresh On Me". I had my eyes closed but I felt something literally on me. Tears starting falling down my cheeks. God said "Look up". I opened my eyes, looked up and this picture above is what I seen. God said that He was literally falling afresh on me. You can't see it in the picture but there was a huge cloud with a hole in it. Through the hole a single beam of sunlight us shining through, straight on me!

God shows Himself in so many ways, He used nature this time. All He wants is for me to rest and relax in Him with no agenda. So often I was too concerned about what I can give to God but it's not about what I can give Him, it's about what He wants to give to me. That's all it's ever been about.



Fall afresh on me - Bethel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV77elsdUAI

Breathe life

Cystic Fibrosis here is what I have to say to you...

You don't have a hold on my brother, Jacob, or my family any longer! You don't determine his chooses, dictate what he says and you most certainly don't define him anymore. I know this disease is the devil's way of holding him back from all that God has for him and Devil you better listen real careful to all I'm about to say...

I have you figured out, the only reason your doing it is because your scared...well you should be!!! I'm warning you, you better start packing your bags and running as fas away as possible because if you don't your going to be broken down from every inch of my brother's body, every thought that possess his mind, every grip that you have on his future and guess what smart guy it's not going to be pretty. We will see who's laughing then!!!

You don't have the power, you never have. It's your own lies that have even deceived you into thinking that you even stood a chance. You know damn well that your battle was lost when the ultimate doctor and healer shed his blood to set Jacob free from your sickening hand.

My King promised to heal Jacob and I'm not gonna sit till He does. I'm standing in the gap knowing full well that God's promises are never broken. His word's are truth, not cheap junk like everything that comes out of your mouth and whispers into the ears of the valuable. No, my God speaks life into the very heart of his creation and sets them completely free.

I still don't think you get it after all these years. We are putting up a fight and we have the strongest army on our side. You better prepare yourself with some sort of protection because with just a single breath God will crush you.

You will be so badly crushed that you won't even think about attaching yourself to the organs of Jacob ever again. He will be set free, walking in complete healing. The thoughts that possess him will be of life not death. He won't be selling himself short anymore, he will be walking along side his creator. His creator that created him for a purpose, for freedom, for redemption, for relationship.

The things that used to satisfy him before will do nothing more then dissatisfy him. God's love will be so overwhelming but so evident in his life that the Kingdom of God will rejoice every time he takes a single breath. Every breath will be filled with life. Cystic Fibrosis' motto "Breathe Easy" will be nothing compared to every breath that he breathe's from this day on.

Complete healing will simply roll of his tongue, it will be the very essence of very word he speaks. Doctor's that have known him since birth won't be able to explain it, but Jacob will. He will look at them in the eye and say My God breathed life into every organ in my body.

Jacob is God's and God's only. Death does not stand a chance, he will walk in eternal life. The barrier between heaven and earth was broken and Jacob will receive the full force of what that means and what God intended it to be for him as his beloved child.

Jacob will breathe life, life in healing, life in love with his Saviour!

Isaiah 43:1-4
But now, God's Message, the God who made you in the first place, Jacob, the One who got you started, Israel: "Don't be afraid, I've redeemed you. I've called your name. You're mine. When you're in over your head, I'll be there with you. When you're in rough waters, you will not go down. When you're between a rock and a hard place, it won't be a dead end— Because I am God, your personal God, The Holy of Israel, your Savior. I paid a huge price for you: all of Egypt, with rich Cush and Seba thrown in! That's how much you mean to me! That's how much I love you! I'd sell off the whole world to get you back, trade the creation just for you.