For this season

Wow can’t believe we are in a new year already. Most people would be excited, I'm excited but not in a way that I normally am about a new year. The truth is I’m more scared than I am excited!!!! I have been feeling sick in my stomach since yesterday about the year ahead. I just can’t shake the feeling and have no idea where it has come from, it’s turned up unannounced and has taken me by surprise.

What I am scared of exactly?

The answer to that I don’t even know. I can try and figure out what it is but it doesn’t make a lot of sense...I’m scared of the unknown, I’m scared of trusting God. But this reasons aren’t really true. The unknown and trusting God can be daunting but to be scared by them, no!

I feel in my spirit that God is really preparing me for this year ahead. Preparing me in a way that I have never experienced. I believe that this year is going to be massive, I feel like I'm really going to be tested, stretched, challenged am I ready? I don’t feel ready but it’s not about what I feel, it’s about what God needs to do in me for this season in my life.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

There is a time for everything, and a season for very activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them. a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, and time for war and a time for peace. 

My God is faithful

Once again another year is over and as everyone does I reflected over this past year, 2011. As I looked back over the whole year, one big mosaic picture, I was totally blown away by God's faithfulness. 2011 was a year of saying yes, stepping out with boldness, walking into the unknown, learning to let God have full control, seeking Him more than I ever have, facing my fears head on, leaving family and friends for an unknown period, having a new intimate love with God, loving my husband more than the day we got married, emotional breakdowns, new skills learnt, new friends made and entering a new season. 

There is no doubt that this past year we have been exactly where God wanted us to be.

During the year God provided every need, not just some, but ALL our needs. He has been more than enough at exactly the right time. Not once have we gone without, He came through every single time! As we made ourselves available to Him, He made Himself faithful to us. What have I learnt this year? It's that MY God is faithful and He will NEVER let me down, all I need to do is be obedient and say yes to whatever He asks and He will do the rest. 

A hand to hold

Everyday children from the community enter the gates of Jordan House, some I know their names but many of them I don’t. They come to just hang out, they come to see the muzungu’s (white man), they come because they are hungry, they come to play with their friends that live at Jordan House and sometimes they come to receive a simple hug, kiss or hand to hold.

Early this week a little boy that I had never seen before was in the compound just wondering around looking a little sad and lost. I was sitting with a group of children close by playing ‘ring-a-ring-a-rosie’ when i gestured and verbalised for him to “come” in the local way. He quickly followed my request and soon we were playing ‘ring-a-ring-a-rosie’ together. Surprisingly he wasn’t at all shy, like I thought he would be. He kept wanting more tickles, every time bursting out with a high pitched laugh that made me laugh. I would tickle him just so I could hear his adorable laugh, which he didn’t mind at all.

For the rest of the afternoon he was my friend, holding my hand everywhere I would go, often leading me to wherever HE wanted to go. At that point I didn’t care if he was the only little boy that I had became friends with my whole time here.

Later that night I thought about this little boy, who’s name I did not know and a huge smile over took my face. I was reminded who simple this little boys intentions had been. He just wanted to be with me, to take hold of my hand and simply be together. God wants to simply be with me with whatever I do. He wants us to wake up in the morning together, He wants us breathe life together, He wants us to cry together, He wants us to laugh together, He wants us to have conversations together, He wants us to go to sleep together at the end of the day. It’s so easy to try and do things on my own and not include God but He wants to lead me wherever HE wants, just like the little boy and He simply wants a hand to hold, MINE!

It hurts

Today Will and I meet a lady at Entebbe airport. As we were waiting for her my eyes welled up with tears as I watched families greet each other, some were even crying themselves as they hugged their loved ones. I so wished that was me, greeting my family back in Brisbane, Australia. At that moment I would have given anything to jump on the next flight back to Australia. 

But I had to really ask myself the question, if I was really given the choose, would I? The answer was easy, no! It hurts so bad sometimes being away from family, especially when I don’t know exactly why I am here but at the same time that’s why I couldn’t jump on the next plane. I wouldn’t change this point of my life for anything! It’s hard waiting for clear direction from God but following God isn’t easy, sometimes it hurts so bad. But I know that God has my best interests in mind, He would never leave me, He is my comfort, He is my provision, He is my guidance, He is the reason at 11 years old He placed Africa not just on but in my hear,t I have to continue to push on and be lead by his voice. 

Challenged

Everyday here in Uganda I see beggars of all ages; men, women and children. It breaks my heart, especially to see children begging. These children deserve the chance to be a child, to play, to laugh, to dance, to learn, to have an education and to be loved. Many times children are taken from villages or sold by their parents to men that than bring them to the city to ‘earn’ money, only to give the money they ‘earned’ to their boss. Men and women with deformities, disabled or without limbs deserve some dignity.

Everyone here says not to give money to beggars, as money doesn’t fix anything. It’s true money doesn’t fix the self-mutalation, the child slavery, the drunkness that thrives amongst some of the beggars. Living here I have somewhat come accustomed to their way of life and accepted it. Sometimes I get so angry when I know and can see it’s all an act. 

But I was extremely challenged this week when I was having time with God.

Acts 3:2-7

‘Now a man crippled from birth was being carried to the temple gate called Beautiful, where he was put everyday to beg from those going into the temple courts. When he saw Peter and John about to enter, he asked them for money. Peter looked straight at him, as did John. Then Peter said, “Look at us!” So the man gave them his attention, expecting to get something from them. Then Peter said, “Silver or gold I do not have, but what I have I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth walk.” Taking him by the right hand, he helped him up, and instantly the man’s feet and ankles became strong. 

Everyday people walked straight past the crippled man on their way to worship God. Some may have given him money but many may have just walked straight past without even an acknowledgement. The thing that God challenged me with the most with was the fact that the people where on their way to worship God, but couldn’t even stop for broken. 

God challenged me to be Peter and John, to take hold of the precious gift Jesus left behind, the Holy Spirit and simply pray with the lost, the broken, the unloved. When doing home visits in the slums I sit and pray with Mama’s and their children. Why not sit and pray with the beggars? How can I say that I love Jesus, if I simply walk by!

It's the simple things...

Today’s Highlight: Sitting on a local Mama’s verandah, playing with her beautiful daughter while watching it rain. It’s the simple things that make me feel God’s heart, His heart of just sitting to play and love the children, even the children in the slums. 

Pay Day

We have been here for almost 3 months and today I was looking back over our time so far and remembered something that I would like to share with you.

It was only 2 weeks ago that we payed the ladies from our Woman Empowerment program. One of the ladies, Betty, came to pay day with no products (set of earrings and bracelets) because she didn’t have the money to buy the materials needed to make the products. We gave her the money needed for the materials (that would then be taken off her pay when she gets it) as well as two days to bring the products and then we could pay her. 

She brought all sets of the jewellery and we were able to pay her the months wage, minus the money we gave her for materials. This situation is quite common as so many families literally live day-to-day and sometimes don’t have the money to even provide food for their family. These families know the true meaning of struggling.

What made my day through this situation was when we were able to pay Betty, her daughter was with her. When we handed the money to Betty, her daughter’s face lit up and she took the money from her mum, held it in her hands with a huge smile on her face. Betty was unable to make an income the month before and Betty’s daughter knew that at least for the next week or so they would have food to eat!!! 

It’s days and people like this that make me so thankful that God has brought me here to Uganda

Playgroup

I’m learning to love like God loves, slowly. 

The one thing that struck me this week was a huge need with children with disabilities and children that are behind in their development. On Wednesday, after our staff meeting, I seen Molly and her daughter, Stacia. I had seen Stacia a few times but this time felt compelled to take Stacia from her mum and give her some cuddles. Stacia is 10 months old and has down syndrome. I put out my hands and she came to me straight away. I cuddled and played with her for about 20mins before she started crying and I gave her back to her mum. 

In the 20 mins that I was playing with Stacia, God placed a huge need on my heart for children with disabilities and children that are behind in their development.

Immediately after giving Stacia back to her Mum, I started doing some research about Down Syndrome and activities that would help with development. God then placed on my heart to start a playgroup with these children. Within 30 mins of when I first held Stacia in my arms, after talking to Danielle and Vanita (Internationals that also volunteer with Operation Uganda), we had come up with four children that we knew could benefit from the playgroup. I asked our social worker, Pamela if we could visit these families and explain to their mother’s what was being started and if they would like to bring their children along. 

The next day I went to visit Molly with Pamela. When I walked inside her tiny house, no bigger than a bathroom, the smell of urine hit me so strong and I stepped in a pool of liquid, which I’m pretty sure was wee. I seen Molly’s other daughter Rita sitting on the cold concrete floor. Rita is severely disabled, almost deaf and almost blind. I knew straight away that Rita needed to be part of whatever God had placed on my heart the day before. Molly was so thankful!

I don’t have a clue what or how to run this playgroup but I know God will guide me. I have no experience with disabled children but that’s what’s so amazing about the love of God, you don’t need to know what to do, you just need to love and He will do the rest… 

Graduation

Yesterday I had the privilege to witness and be part of the ladies from our Tailoring Course graduate. The course was the first of it’s kind and was a huge success. An 8 month course where 10 ladies from similar situations and backgrounds were given an opportunity of a lifetime, to learn a skill that they can then start there own businesses to provide for their children, free of charge. The course also included skills such as budgeting (which is a huge issue here, as people don’t think and plan ahead, which I guess is hard when you only have money and food to live from day to day) teaching them the word and promises of God and showing them the love of God. All 10 ladies were from the local community; single parents struggling to provide the basics for their family. 

To see the joy on their face at the graduation was amazing. Unfortunately I was unable to see the course from start to finish (as we have only been here for 10 weeks) but to hear the stories of transformation throughout the time that I have been here from when the ladies first began to now is amazing. Woman who were involved in witchcraft, now christians and attending church regularly. Isn’t it cool, how something so simple leads lives to Christ, for eternity!!!!!!!

Ladies with their graduating certificates 

Be Still...

It took five weeks, after arriving in Uganda, Africa, that I could say I was semi settled. I had found my feet at Jordan House, relationships were being built quickly and extended upon daily. We had bought a car in this time, thank you to everyone who was praying. We got a good deal with only a few things that we had to get fixed, which we found out later. We were able to get from A to B without the assistance from others and without getting lost. We had learnt the basic greetings in Luganda (Will learnt a lot faster than myself and I think I’m still pronouncing them wrong, as sometimes the locals still laugh at me) I had gained two extra names since being here, “Muzungu” (white man) which gets shouted at you with great excitement several times throughout the day and “Emmanuel” (The nickname for Emmanuel here in Uganda is Emma, so when I introduced myself as Emma they responded with “Emmanuel”) it has stuck with some people ever since, and others just call me Emmanuel as a joke. Within the five weeks we had also sat and prayed with many people, asking God for healing, protection, provision, peace and for His love to saturate their situation and family. God gave me words for some of these people, which brought me to tears, I was continuing to feel just a fraction of how much God loves them, I still can’t comprehend the magnitude of His love. 

But amongst all this I’m ashamed to say, I was frustrated at God! Why you may ask? To be honest it was for a selfish reason, God hadn’t spoke to me, He hadn’t revealed anything great and amazing in the five weeks of being here. This was really hard for me to get my head around, Will and I had obeyed God, we were here in Uganda, I was spending time with Him and NOW I was becoming really impatient!!!

We celebrated our second wedding anniversary, with a weekend away in a small town, called Jinja, about an hour and a half outside of Kampala. It was Sunday night, our last night in Jinja, before we headed back to crazy Kampala, so we decided to have dinner at a local cafe. We left at 4.30pm, for an early dinner as we didn’t have lunch, we didn’t get far!!! We drove for about 10mins before realising that the car was overheating, BAD! We pulled into the closest petrol station (Shell, yes they have Shell petrol stations here in Uganda), open the hood to try and find the problem, we found it alright, a nice big crack in the radiator. I don’t know much about cars but I knew that if you drive a car with a cracked radiator, you will have even bigger problems. We knew we had to get it fixed but how? It was a sunday afternoon in a small, stalls and shops were closed. We tried bottles and bottles of radiator coolant to see if it would just tie us over to get back to where we were staying, FAIL! We tried soap to fill the hole, YES SOAP, a TOTAL FAIL of an idea from one of the “mechanics”, we knew it wouldn’t work but he was insisting that it would. I just had to laugh, Uganda…. After an half and hour another guy finally come along and suggested we take it across the road to a different petrol station, brilliant idea in the end! We drove the car across the road to the other petrol station and had another lot of mechanics look at it. They defiantly had more of an idea of what they were doing. They said they could fix it, we agreed, four and a half hours later it was complete and we able to then go fill our very hungry bellies.

What has this got to with my journey here in Africa? Everything!!! Normally when something goes wrong like that, I get so cranky, I swear (I’m just being honest) and make the situation worse for myself and everyone around me. This was different, not once did I get cranky, swear, or take my frustration of the inconvenience out on anybody. Yes, it was extremely inconvenient for what we had planned, but extremely conveniant for God to get my attention. 

You see as they were repairing the radiator in the dark, with only a small hand held touch and the light from mobile phones, which were completely hopeless, God was ripping my heart apart. Tears rolled down my face which matched perfectly how I was feeling on the inside. I had put a worship CD on and just hang out with my creator, the best hang out time I had had in a long time. God reminded me what it means to “Be Still”, it’s not putting a time limit on God, it’s not demanding things from Him, it’s not compromising with Him, it’s not trying to make things work in my favour. In fact it’s the complete opposite! It’s being in tune with His small voice, it’s letting him take control of the situation, it’s shutting my mouth long enough and letting God talk, it’s simply hanging out in His presence and waiting on Him. 

Why get frustrated at God that He hadn’t spoke to me the way I wanted Him to, when I wasn’t giving Him the time He deserved, silencing myself and merely waiting on Him. It’s in these quite times with God that He has the time to do what He’s been wanting to do in a long time. It’s a simple thing that God longs from us but it can be a hard thing to do at times, and I’m still learning.