I'm having trouble processing everything that has happened in the last couple of months, but in a good way. God has shown me so much of Himself that it's almost impossible to put into words.
Seriously, how do I write anything that even comes close to how amazing He truly is.
I'm working on it though, I promise.
In the mean time here is a picture of how God literally poured afresh on me.
While away at "Transformation of the Heart Retreat," we had some free time and God gently said "Go sit in the garden". For many of you it would have been easy to go sit in the garden, but for me to just sit and do NOTHING, wow I really struggle. I have always been a person that has to be doing SOMETHING, I have never been able to truly relax.
The days prior to this, God really showed me that the devil has been robbing me of that time that I need to relax all my life. He's been stealing away the time I need to rest for myself and the time that God so dearly wants me to just relax and rest in Him.
I wasn't going to let the devil win this time, so I went and sat in the garden. I wasn't there long before I felt relaxed and at rest, not in my own strength, but I truly felt God's presence all around me. This was a big milestone for me, I can count on one hand the amount of times I have truly relaxed in my whole life (and it doesn't even take up all 5 fingers)
I was listening to worship music for about half hour and just soaking in His love. A song came on that I had never listened to before "Fall a Fresh On Me". I had my eyes closed but I felt something literally on me. Tears starting falling down my cheeks. God said "Look up". I opened my eyes, looked up and this picture above is what I seen. God said that He was literally falling afresh on me. You can't see it in the picture but there was a huge cloud with a hole in it. Through the hole a single beam of sunlight us shining through, straight on me!
God shows Himself in so many ways, He used nature this time. All He wants is for me to rest and relax in Him with no agenda. So often I was too concerned about what I can give to God but it's not about what I can give Him, it's about what He wants to give to me. That's all it's ever been about.
Fall afresh on me - Bethel
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tV77elsdUAI
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