A fire within me has been lit

With temperatures of 40 degrees, crying helplessly, sleepless nights, nursing around the clock, and an array of medicines being placed in her little body from both ends of the spectrum, it's safe to say that the latter half of the past week has been a little traumatic for both Mamma and bubba.

"Jesus loves the little children, 

all the children of the world. 

Red and yellow, black and white,

they are precious in His sight. 

Jesus loves the little children" 

I found myself singing this classic that I grew up singing, in an attempt to soothe my sick baby girl. She finally falls asleep, saddled across my body, head resting on my chest. I don't dare put her down. That's not an option. For the past 48 hours she has only wanted to rest her weak body on me. I can feel her burning, the heat from little face has made my chest red.

Now that she is sleeping I can get some rest. I close my eyes. But my mind wonders. The words from the classic children's song play over and over in my head and I find myself questioning God. "How can Jesus love all the little children of the world?" Children all over the world are dying from sicknesses that can be managed with access to medication, food, water and doctors. There are Mothers all over the world that weep helplessly because they can't even produce enough milk that would soothe their babies. They don't have enough money to feed themselves so their bodies deny them from producing natures finest life support. If they can't eat they defiantly don't have the means and resources to get seen by a doctor or a hospital visit. Even if somehow they were able to go to the hospital, doctors and nurses would deny them treatment as they can't afford the hospital bed or medications needed.

My heart breaks. My heart becomes heavy. Anger is also mixed with sadness. "How can doctors and nurses overlook dying children?!" To us it seems so foreign, so inhuman. But this is how the majority of the world live. Does it make it easier for them knowing that this is the life they have been handed. Of course not! I can't even imagine the heart ache a Mother would go through watching her sick baby screaming inconsolably.

Within four days Gracie has returned to 100% health, cheeky as ever, always on the move exploring and laughing. We had everything at our finger tips. Doctors, medication and even support and love from family to help when I was exhausted. But my heart is still heavy for these Mummies and their babies.

My heart breaks. My heart becomes heavy. Anger is also mixed with sadness. A fire within me has been lit.

1 Samuel 2:8

He raises the poor from the dust and lifts the needy from the ash heap; he seats them with princes and has them inherit a throne of honour...